10 Types of People Who Leave Comments Online

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Image credit: @andrewtneel on Unsplash

Some of the comments people leave online are meant to engage with the author, start a healthy dialogue about the subject matter at hand, or leave helpful feedback. Others are… well…

1. The formal bait-and-switcher

This is a good article about apple pie. I also wrote an article about apple pie. Please take a look. [insert link here] Sincerely, [enter name here]copy paste copy paste copy paste

2. The apologetic bait-and-switcher

If you wouldn’t mind — only if it wouldn’t terribly inconvenience you — could you take a look at my story too? I know you must be very busy. I worked really hard on it but I don’t know if it’s any good… it’s about how to be confident. I know there are a lot of articles like that already but I’m trying to make mine stand out :) Only if you have time. Thank you so much :) [insert link here] copy paste copy paste copy paste copy paste

3. The off-topic autobiographer

I enjoyed your story about your experiences growing up in rural Alabama and working at the movie theater. I myself was born in 1963 in downtown Chicago to a housewife and an accountant. We lived a comfortable middle class life, until the day everything suddenly changed. My home burned down. Then we moved to Canada, where I became bilingual in French and English and worked as a pastry chef while raising 5 kids. I couldn’t have done it without my beautiful wife. We have been together for 36 years. What a ride!

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Image credit: @priscilladupreez on Unsplash

4. The unimpressed spectator

While I think it’s a good start that you tried intermittent fasting, I think it would have been MUCH more impressive if you had tried fasting PERMANENTLY. I was a little bit disappointed with this story and wish you had gone all the way. That would have made the story more interesting.

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Image credit: gabrielle_cc on Pixabay

5. The instigator

You sound very entitled. Are you even qualified to write an article about global warming? Are you a trust fund baby?

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Image credit: @rawpixel on Unsplash

The problem with your article is that [insert type of people] are always the ones who [insert an abominable action]. So you are blaming the wrong people.

6. The uninformed statistician

I disagree with your article. Actually, I saw another article that said 64.2% of walruses and 12.9% of tigers enjoy being in captivity. Your story makes it seem like animals don’t EVER like to be in captivity. Please do your research next time.

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Image credit: @rawpixel on Unsplash

Your article about gun control is wrong. Did you know that 82% of guns never shoot anyone? That means only 18% of guns ever get used in a bad way. If my gun is in the 82%, then why do I have to give up my rights?

7. The preacher

AMEN SISTER!!! You tell them!

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Image credit: PublicDomainPictures on Pixabay

THIS 👏 IS 👏 AMAZING 👏
You are my inspiration!!!! NEVER STOP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING!

8. The salesperson in disguise

I am absolutely inspired by your weight-loss journey! I too am on a weight-loss journey. At first I hit a brick wall, but everything changed when I started taking [insert name of supplement]. Would you like to learn more about it? Maybe you can even join my team and start helping more people with their own health goals!!

9. The people who miss the point

I know that the title of this article is “10 Ways To Decrease Your Stress”, but number 3 is not really decreasing your stress, it’s just displacing your stress. Also, number 8 might decrease your stress right now but increase it in the long term, so you really only have 8 good tips, therefore you should change the title of your article. Also, you forgot the Oxford comma in paragraph 2, sentence 4.

10. The ones who think the article is about them

You know, not all [insert type of people] are [insert negative quality]. I am [insert type of person] and I would never [insert terrible action].

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“Not ALL of us are like that!” Image credit: @paulgilmore_ on Unsplash

Are you guilty of leaving comments like these? Confess below.

Double points if you turn your response into an unrelated autobiographical tale or if you find a way to sneak in some bizarre statistics. Triple points if you find a way to politicize your response.

Written by

✨ serial questioner • technical writer/devops • editor of Diary of an SRE • thank you for connecting 👩🏻‍💻 kerisavoca.com

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