Wee-ooo wee-ooo! by Zhen Hu on Unsplash

Nothing’s Going Your Way? Just Declare A State of Emergency!

It doesn’t even have to be a real emergency.

Good news, everyone.

Effective immediately, if something isn’t going the way you imagined, you can just shut the whole thing down and declare a state of emergency.

What is a state of emergency?

We’re not exactly sure. But as soon as those words are invoked, you’ll gain access to numerous special privileges, including, but not limited to:

The ability to cancel meetings and social engagements.

You don’t have to go to that important event because it’s a state of emergency. If you go, people will think there’s not really an emergency. So don’t go. Make sure everyone realizes how serious the emergency is.

The ability to stop paying your employees.

Or your rent, or whatever. If it’s a state of emergency, you’ll have to divert all of your money to the…